2009 September | All About Kids

Home Schooling A Dyslexic Child

Dyslexia is a learning disability that is caused by the manner by which the brain processes words, whether verbal or written. This disability usually becomes apparent in reading and spelling. It has no relation whatsoever to intelligence, senses such as sight or hearing, or insufficient instruction.

Dyslexia becomes evident normally when a child is of school age. Some schools offer special programs that help dyslexic children cope with their learning disability. Others, however, do not. In this case, parents have to deal with their child’s learning disability on their own. The best approach to helping a child cope with dyslexia is home schooling. Through home schooling, parents can give their dyslexic children the individual attention and instruction that they need.

Benefits of Home schooling

One of the benefits that home schooling has for a dyslexic child is the individual instruction that a parent is able to give the child. Parents can customize their child’s lessons to meet his or her needs. They can spend more time on reading and spelling, which are the main problem areas for dyslexic children.

Another benefit from home schooling a dyslexic child is that the child will no longer be exposed to a negative environment. He or she will no longer have to constantly compete with other children in terms of learning and understanding. He or she will no longer have to be on the defensive with respect to his or her learning disability.

At home, the child can learn at his or her own pace. He or she will no longer have to hide his or her learning disability. The child can finally be comfortable and confident enough to learn despite the dyslexia. Parents can access a wealth of teaching materials as well as information on how to help dyslexic children cope with their learning disability.

Finally, the child will be able to get the much needed support that most schools cannot provide. This support may not only come from his or her parents, but also from support groups that parents who home school their dyslexic children may have formed.

Challenges of Home schooling

The relationship that a parent has with his or her child as a teacher and a student is one of the main challenges of home schooling a dyslexic child. The child has to open up about his or her dyslexia to his or her parents, who in turn must be supportive of him or her. The parent has to do a lot of research in order to determine what to teach, the method by which to educate the child, and the tools or materials needed to help the child cope with dyslexia.

Parents who find the challenge of home schooling their dyslexic child too great might have to consider hiring a professional to educate their child from home. They might also want to consider having their child undergo regular testing in order to assess their child’s progress. The costs of having to consult with professionals may place the parents under financial strain.

No cost is too great nor any challenge too difficult for the parent who chooses to home school his or her child. A home schooled dyslexic child is equipped with the best education and support system to help him or her deal with a manageable learning disorder, preparing him or her for a bright future ahead.


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Parenting a Child With Disability

How do I bring up this child? Is a frequently asked question by many parents who come face to face with a child with disability. The problem starts when the doctor announces that the child has a disability. The first reaction of the parent is denial,” my child is not disabled, the doctor made a mistake”. The grandparents add to this saying some uncle or aunty was like this but then they became normal. So there is no need for anxiety. Everything will become normal. But when there is no improvement the next step is to shop around for a cure from pillar to post. Parents refuse to listen to the doctors’ suggestions. Parents expect some miracle and after shopping around ends up either with over protection or with rejection.

All these have an impact on the development of the child. In the case of a child with mental disability parents have sympathy for the child Most parents feel that the child does not understand anything and try to give a lot of allowance for the child. A lot of concession is given for the misbehaviour of the child. The child with mental disability has some comprehension though not up to his / her age level Most parents allow the child to behave as she /he likes and finally are scared to take the child to public gathering because thay think the child will misbehave when people are around.

We usually forget to remember that the child is observing us as we observe the child. He/She knows our weakness and strong points and what will affect us more. Some children say “I know how to get things done, when friends come to visit us we get what ever we demand.” “Our screaming in a public place makes my mother nervous and she will do anything for me” So even if we are anxious make it a point not to express it out wardly.

Another big mistake we all do is to ignore the children when they are quite and mind their work. We have a tendency to finish the work as fast as we can when there is no disturbance. We pay attention to the child the minute the child throws something to the floor, or screams. This reinforces the child to misbehave. As parents if we are ready to appreciate the child when he is behaving well, then the child will also appreciate us and behave well.

Parents need to remember that discipline is same for every one; I mean same for all the children there need not be two yard sticks. If we start treating the disabled child like any other child. at home as well as in front of others, problems are less. We have come across children who behave well at home misbehave in a public place, scream and even roll on the ground and throw mud on every one, just to get attention. These children are very sure their parents are at their mercy. There is a six year old child who insists on taking a shaving cream when ever he visits a super market. No one is his home uses the shaving cream. If you don’t allow him to take the cream he will roll on the ground and scream. When he visits the same super market with his school mates and teachers, he usually drags the teacher to the cupboard where they have the shaving cream, the teacher explains to him that he doesn’t need that instead he can take a biscuits or chocolate which has a dazzling cover he agrees. No crying or temper tantrums. All what he wanted was not the shaving cream but the bright cover of the shaving cream.. In many cases we see that if you understand the child instead of saying NO to the child you can manage the child.

Parents usually feel that a disabled child is a punishment from god for what they have done in the previous birth. They don’t want to show the child to the out side world. We have a mother who takes the child for a walk around 9PM when every body is inside the house. She says this is to avoid disgrace; She wanted to avoid the questions asked by her friends and neighbours. The more and more she avoids people, people have the interest to find out what is wrong with the child. Instead if you can introduce the child to others and introduce some friends of his own age group, people will have empathy for the child and help you also. In some cases this kind of socialisation will help in the child’s social development.

We come across many parents who are very spontaneous in using the word (Don’t do it)

“Don’t go out in the sun” “don’t play in the rain” “don’t eat ice cream” “don’t play with that child” How many of us have the time and the patience to tell the child why the child cannot do that and instead what the child can do. When we give instruction to the child “Don’t play in the rain” do we ever convey the reason?. And teach the child to make paper boat so that when the rain stops he can play in the rain water. The child will definitely respond to your request, not to play in the rain. Make it a point to give positive commands instead of negatives. Many parents have the tendency to talk about the child to others like friends and relatives in the child’s presence. The positive as well as the negative behaviours are reinforced. If we talk about any behaviour that is worrying us the child takes the clue from us and misbehaves all the more in front of the visitors. So it is always better to avoid the mistake of any discussion in front of the child.

Parents need to keep in mind that we need to treat the child with disability as any other child in the family. Children learn what they live as described by an unknown author

If a child lives with criticism,

He learns to condemn

If a child lives with hostility,

He learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,

He learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,

He learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,

He learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement,

He learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise,

He learns to praise.

If a child lives with fairness,

He learns justice,

If a child lives with security,

He learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval,

He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,

He learns to find love in the world.

As we set rules for the children if permitted children may also like to set rules for us and question us. We usually do not allow that. Let us give them permission and keep our self in the shoe of the child and listen to what they want to say. For some parents it will be really shocking.



If we have done something wrong, you have every right to tell us what was wrong with us or where we went wrong. Please make it short, and without shouting at us in front of others try to make us understand what was wrong. Please don’t go about it for hours.

Please do remember the good things about us as well as the bad. If we are quiet and did something you can appreciate, give us positive strokes immediately.

If you want us to do something or don’t want us to do, explain to us why we cannot do that and instead you can tell us what we can do. And please don’t expect us to obey you as you are our parents We are fed up of the command” obey as I say so”

Please tell us specifically when you are pleased with us,” You behaved well when friends visited us or you didn’t make noise when I was talking to my friend” This will help us to understand how we have to behave and go on behaving like that.

If you make mistakes don’t feel bad to admit it. If you do something wrong, please apologize, we should do the same.

Could you listen to us more often? If you listen to us you can understand us better and why we behave in a certain way, and some times why we misbehave. Then we will be more willing to listen to you.

When we go out in the evening we should be back by a certain time. Our programmes need to be planned according to our convenience and likes and dislikes and not according to your convenience. This will help you to avoid the conflicts between us.

When our friends visit us, please welcome them, but do not ask them lot of questions about their home, parent’s family and what they do in their spare time. We need some privacy

We want to be trusted, so please don’t worry about us so much, and don’t always expect the worst.

You often tell us that you didn’t do that when you were young. We should be genuinely interested to know just what you did when you were young.



If you keep in mind another six rules as to how you can spoil your child you can be little careful and you can live without tension.

1. From infancy give the child everything he demands. In this way if he grows up he will think that the world needs to give in to all his demands.

2. When he picks up bad words laugh about it. This will give him an idea that he is cute. It will encourage him to pick up more words that will make you hang your head when he uses these words in a public place.

3. Please do avoid using the word “Wrong” It may develop a guilt complex in the child.

4. One of the parent make it a point to pick up every thing he leaves like books and toys after he plays or comes back from school and do every thing for him even before he asks for any help so that as he grows up into adult hood he will shun all the responsibilities and expect you to do ever thing for him. As the child grows up you are also growing old and you may not have the strength and energy to do everything for him if he is dependent on you

5. Quarrel often in your children’s presence. So that they will feel insecure and in some cases try to run off from the family.

6. Never try to correct him when he quarrels with friends and neighbours, blindly support him so that at later stage he will become a nuisance in the neighbourhood and the community will try to use force to manage him

No one has a right to say that he /she is a good parent or bad parent. In our anxiety to give our best to the child, we make lot of mistakes, if we can correct some of these mistakes which every one does at some stage of their life we can help our children with disability to be useful citizens and not be a burden to others even after we are not there to support them.


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Educating parents through parent teacher associations

The norms in academics are getting more and more stringent, the curriculum at school is getting larger and new age moms and dads are becoming busier. There is a huge gap between what the children do at school and the extent to which parents are being able to help students. Neither is it the fault of the school which is expanding the curriculum in order to prepare the students to take up challenges in future, nor is it the fault of parents who are working hard to secure the future of their wards. Nevertheless, the disparity between the children and parents has to be reduced and this is where the role of a Parent Teacher association fits in.

Parent teacher associations are often seen as a mere parent-teacher meeting organizations where discussions about children happens between the teachers and parents. But in reality, PTA has a lot more to it than mere meetings. It plays an important role in building strong relationships among parents, teachers and schools with the ultimate aim of supporting students.

PTAs serve as venues in discussing about educational issues concerning the child. It is not just a one on one meeting between teachers and parents, but it is a forum where many parents can come together to discuss their individual concerns and plan activities that nurture student behavior.

In the process, parents get to learn a lot about the academics of their child, the various aspects of the school curriculum and the progress of the child. The associations usually have a counselor or a teacher educating the parents about the importance of giving time to the child and the role of parents in shaping the persona of the child

Parent teacher associations help the new age parents understand the psyche of children and the importance of their involvement in the growing up years of their child, something that is very essential in drawing working parents’ attention towards the nurturing of their wards.

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How often does a marriage devolve into a child/parent relationship?

I see this a lot with married people, where one person will be the authority figure and the other takes on the role of the helpless child. Why do you think this happens? Is it just laziness, do most people want to be taken care of? Must a relationship include at least one care giver?

My ex has served me with a petition to modify parent child relationship?

My ex has served me with a petition of modify parent child relationship. I need to answer this very soon. I mainly agree with it due to the fact that my daughter is going to be living with him this year. There are some parts I disagree with and I just don’t want to default and would like to answer with minor changes. Is there a sample answer form somewhere? I live in Texas by the way.

CHILD ABUSE

CHILD ABUSE:-



Child abuse is the physical and/or psychological/emotional mistreatment of children. The Centers for disease Control and prevention (CDC) define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts or commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child. Most child abuse happens in a child’s home, with a smaller amount occurring in the organizations, schools or communities the child interacts with. There are four major categories of child abuse: neglect, physical abuse, psychological/emotional abuse, and sexual abuse.

Different jurisdictions have developed their own definitions of what constitutes child abuse for the purposes of removing a child from his/her family and/or prosecuting a criminal charge. The mental health journal States that child abuse is defined as “any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation, an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm”.

Contents 1 Types 2 Prevalence 3 Causes 4 Effects 5 Treatment 6 Footnotes Types

Child abuse can take several forms

Neglect, in which the responsible adult fails to adequately provide for various needs, including physical (failure to provide adequate food, clothing, or hygiene), emotional (failure to provide nurturing or affection) or educational (failure to enroll a child in school).

Physical abuse is physical aggression directed at a child by an adult. It can involve striking, burning, choking or shaking a child, and the distinction between discipline and abuse is often poorly defined. The transmission of toxins to a child through its mother (such as with fetal alcohol syndrome) can also be considered physical abuse in some jurisdictions. Child sexual abuse is any sexual act between an adult and a child, including penetration, oral sex and forced nudity in front of the adult Psychological abuse, also known as emotional abuse, which can involve belittling or shaming a child, inappropriate or extreme punishment and the withholding of affection. Prevalence

According to the (American) National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse, in 1997 neglect represented 54% of confirmed cases of child abuse, physical abuse 22%, sexual abuse 8%, emotional maltreatment 4%, and other forms of maltreatment 12%.

A UNICEF report on child well-being stated that the United States and the United Kingdom ranked lowest among industrial nations with respect to the wellbeing of children. This study also found that child neglect and child abuse are far more common in single-parent families than in families where both parents are present.

In the US, neglect is defined as the failure to meet the basic needs of children including housing, clothing, food and access to medical care. Researchers found over 91,000 cases of neglect over the course of one year (from October 2005- September 30, 2006) with their information coming from a database of cases verified by protective services agencies.

Neglect could also take the form of “financial abuse” by not buying the child adequate materials for survival

Causes

Child abuse is a complex problem which has multiple causes.[ Understanding the causes of abuse is crucial to addressing the problem of child abuse. Parents who physically abuse their spouses are more likely to physically abuse their children However, it is difficult to know whether marital strife is a cause of child abuse, or if both the marital strife and abuse are caused by tendencies in the abuser.

Substance abuse is a major contributing factor to child abuse. One study found that parents with documented substance abuse, most commonly alcohol, cocaine, and heroin, were much more likely to mistreat their children, and were also much more likely to reject court-ordered services and treatments.

Another study found that over two thirds of cases of child maltreatment involved parents with substance abuse problems. This study specifically found relationships between alcohol and physical abuse, and between cocaine and sexual abuse.

Cultural norms about what constitutes abuse vary widely: among professionals as well as the wider public, people do not agree on what behaviors constitute abuse.

Some human service professionals claim that cultural norms that sanction physical punishment are one of the causes of child abuse, and have undertaken campaigns to redefine such norms.

Resources for child protection services are sometimes limited. According to Hosin (2007), "a considerable number of traumatized abused children do not gain access to protective child protection strategies." Briere (1992) argues that only when “lower-level violence” of children ceases to be culturally tolerated will there be changes in the victimization and police protection of children.

In the United States, the National Association of Social Workers has issued statements that even the mildest forms of physical punishment, such as moderate spanking, can lower children's self-esteem, constitute acts of violence, and teach children that physical force is an acceptable way to resolve conflicts. Against this latter argument, the philosopher Prof. David Benatar points out that one might as well say that fining people teaches that forcing others to give up some of their property is an acceptable way to respond to those who act in a way that one does not like. "If beatings send a message, why don't detentions, imprisonments, fines, and a multitude of other punishments convey equally undesirable messages?" He adds that "there is all the difference in the world between legitimate authorities -- the judiciary, parents, or teachers -- using punitive powers responsibly to punish wrongdoing, and children or private citizens going around beating each other, locking each other up, and extracting financial tributes (such as lunch money). There is a vast moral difference here and there is no reason why children should not learn about it. Punishing children when they do wrong seems to be one important way of doing this."

In the United Kingdom, sociology professor Frank Furedi suggests that many advocates of a total ban on physical punishment are actually against all forms of punishing children. He sees the underlying agenda as an anti-parent crusade, and argues that the much-cited Murray Straus research is far less clear-cut than the claims made on its behalf by what he calls "anti-smacking zealots".

Effects

Children with a history of neglect or physical abuse are at risk of developing psychiatric problems or a disorganized attachment style. Disorganized attachment is associated with a number of developmental problems, including dissociate symptoms, as well as anxiety, depressive, and acting-out symptoms A study by Dante Cicchetti found that 80% of abused and maltreated infants exhibited symptoms of disorganized attachment.

Victims of childhood abuse, it is claimed, also suffer from different types of physical health problems later in life. Some reportedly suffer from some type of chronic head, abdominal, pelvic, or muscular pain with no identifiable reason. Even though the majority of childhood abuse victims know or believe that their abuse is, or can be, the cause of different health problems in their adult life, for the great majority their abuse was not directly associated with those problems, indicating that sufferers were most likely diagnosed with other possible causes for their health problems, instead of their childhood abuse. The effects of child abuse vary, depending on its type. A 2006 study found that childhood emotional and sexual abuse were strongly related to adult depressive symptoms, while exposure to verbal abuse and witnessing of domestic violence had a moderately strong association, and physical abuse a moderate one. For depression, experiencing more than two kinds of abuse exerted synergistically stronger symptoms. Sexual abuse was particularly deleterious in its interfamilial form, for symptoms of depression, anxiety, dissociation, and limbic irritability .Childhood verbal abuse had a stronger association with anger-hostility than any other type of abuse studied, and was second only to emotional abuse in its relationship with dissociate symptoms. More generally, in the case of 23 of the 27 illnesses listed in the questionnaire of a French INSEE survey, some statistically significant correlations were found between repeated illness and family traumas encountered by the child before the age of 18 years. These relationships show that inequality in terms of illness and suffering is not only social. It has also its origins in the family, where it is associated with the degrees of lasting affective problems (lack of affection, parental discord, the prolonged absence of a parent, or a serious illness affecting either the mother or father) that individuals report having experienced in childhood.

New research illustrates that there are strong associations between exposure to child abuse in all its forms and higher rates of many chronic conditions. The strongest evidence comes from the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE's) series of studies which show correlations between exposure to abuse or neglect and higher rates in adulthood of chronic conditions, high risk health behaviors and shortened live span. ] A recent publication entitled Hidden Costs in Health Care: The Economic Impact of Violence and Abuse makes the case that such exposure represents a serious and costly public health issue that should be addressed by the health care system.

Treatment

A number of treatments are available to victims of child abuse. Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, while developed to treat sexually abused children, is now used for victims of any kind of trauma. It targets trauma-related symptoms in children including posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), clinical depression, and anxiety. It also includes a component for non-offending parents. Several studies have found that sexually abused children undergoing TF-CBT improved more than children undergoing certain other therapies. Data on the effects of TF-CBT for children who experienced only non-sexual abuse was not available as of 2006.

Abuse-focused cognitive behavioral therapy was designed for children who have experienced physical abuse. It targets externalizing behaviors and strengthens pro social behaviors. Offending parents are included in treatment, to improve parenting skills/practices. It is supported by one randomized study, Child-parent psychotherapy was designed to improve the child-parent relationship following the experience of domestic violence. It targets trauma-related symptoms in infants, toddlers, and preschoolers, including PTSD, aggression, defiance, and anxiety. It is supported by two studies of one sample.

Footnotes Leeb RT; Paulozzi LJ; Melanson C; Simon TR &Arias I (2008-01-01). “Child Maltreatment Surveillance: Uniform Definitions for Public Health and Recommended Data Elements”. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved on 2008-10-20. “Child Abuse and Neglect: Types, Signs, Symptoms, Help and Prevention”. Helpguide.org. Retrieved on 2008-10-20. “Child Abuse and Neglect Statistics”. National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse. 1998. Child Poverty in Respective: An Overview of Child Wellbeing in Rich Countries, UNICEF: Innocenti Research Center, Report Card 7 V.J. Fontana, “The maltreatment syndrome of children”, Pediatr Ann. 1984 Oct; 13(10):736-44.

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How do I word in an invitation that only one parent admission will be paid for at a child’s birthday party?

My son is having his 6th birthday party at a museum. The party package includes 15 guests, parents/children. I want to make it clear in my invitation that only one parent/chaperone admission will be paid for and that if any other parent/chaperone decides to join they will have to pay the $4 fee. How should I word it? Is this a good idea, or should I just fork up the money for everyone attending?

Wisdom Series, Day 1:5

of all childhood activities because that cultivates a mastery of ones environment. He coins the term “creative competence” to discuss that mastery. Further, children without that form of play develop feeling of isolation and anxiety. He also believes that child parent bonding is important, and blames a lack of breast feeding and modern childbirth as both obstructive to that bonding. … “joseph chilton pearce” “wisdom series” “the monroe institute” education “child development” “child …

How does this type of attitude from a parent to child make you feel?

The child says something about MY clothes, MY toys., etc.–to which the parent responds they are really MY clothes, I bought them. Shouldn’t a parent provide for a childs needs unconditionally, without a resentful attitude?

By being a Foster Parent what are your chances of loosing the child?

I live in the state of Virginia and am looking into becoming a Foster Parent. I was just wondering what are the chances of being able to adopt a child in foster care instead of the child returning to their original home? In my circumstances I am un able to have child and am hoping to eventually become a permanent home. Is the adoption process the same if you are the child’s foster parent? Are the costs still extremely high?