I’m looking for a site that provides plenty of information about Attachment Parenting. Not just the 7 B’s. But much more about what Attachment Parents do and believe in.
The New Year is a time for forward planning. It is a wonderful opportunity annually to take stock of where your children are in their development and to think of what you, as a parent may need, to keep up with change as your child grows and matures. What changes have you noticed in your children over the last year? Is there something your children are doing that is challenging for you to deal with? Is there a parenting skill you would just like to know a bit more about?
Here are seven ideas to think about to enrich your parenting in the coming year, beginning with easy immediate things you can do, through to more intensive approaches, which can lead to meaningful and lasting change in your relationship with your child.
1. Read a parenting book or two this year. Read about issues that are relevant to you and your child or simply soak up information about the age-group of your child so you are prepared for the changes ahead.
2. Do some research on the internet. Government agencies often have terrific websites for parents including free downloadable tip sheets that can be very helpful. Other websites can be helpful too – but always be careful to check the authenticity of the site and its information.
3. Talk to your friends about parenting and your children’s behaviours. This might seem a little obvious but it is a great way to understand whether your children are exhibiting normal behaviour for their age and to hear how other parents deal with it. This is something that mothers tend to do more than dads, so if you are a dad talk with your mates about what being a parent is like for you. It can be very reassuring to hear similar stories from other parents.
4. Join a support group. If your child has a particular special need, a support group can be very encouraging, while keeping you up to date with latest research and developments.
5. Attend some parent education classes. These classes offer interesting and up to date information about children or teenagers, particular parenting issues and how to handle them. Group workshops also have the advantage of parents linking in with other parents. This often allows parents to appreciate that what they are experiencing is normal.
6. Attend some parent-coaching workshops. Parent-coaching allows even deeper change for the parent because parents are encouraged to look at their way of being with their children and to make individual change for closer relationships. The best coaches ask really thought provoking questions and allow the parent to come up with their own solutions. Like parent education workshops, parent-coaching workshops also have the advantage of connecting parents with other parents.
7. Have some individual parent-coaching. This is a powerful way to make deep and lasting change in your relationship with your child. Coaching can be offered face to face or over the phone, which is a wonderful option for busy modern day parents.
Whether you try one of these seven options or other ideas you may have to benefit your parenting; there will be two winners in 2009: you and your children.
All the best for your parenting in 2009. May it be a year where you continue to learn and grow in your ever changing and vitally important role.
According to Wikipedia, mono parents are parents without partners in raising a child or children. Thus, a mono parent is one who raises his or her bud solely and lonely, spouseless.
Illustrations on mono parents will be at variance from place to place. Each societal mannerism treats and classifies them to their accord.
Treatment of mono parents modify according to where they are put up. Mono parents in urban areas are dealt with in a more positive manner in contrast to those from rural areas.
Mono parenting has become a widespread scenario in today’s lifestyle. But not all cultures receive this change in the way of living, with a positive outlook.
Mono parents- Their practicality
The mother or father is left to raise the bud, companionless, due to various causes and reasons.
They are singled out due to reasons like annulment, mutual separation (break-up), one of them is imprisoned or has kicked the bucket.
The so called parent, who raises the bud, is not necessary to be blood related to that bud. The DNA affirmation does not really count to classify him or her as a mono parent.
Parenting singly is a mere option opted by the person, if the bud is not his or her organic child. Opting to raise another person’s bud is an aristocratic gesture.
As per the latest research, mono parents should get hold of their bud either legally or by adopting or by getting pregnant, unnaturally, or by becoming the surrogate mother.
Thus, mono parenting is a personal option, depending on one’s own individuality. Bringing up a kid is a strenuous task and a costly affair, considering the present standard of living. Mono parenting might not always be successful.
In a few places, where the lifestyle of people is still passé, mono parents are regarded pariah. The reason is that, in those days, parenting children who are not born to them or raising a kid companionless, was considered as sin.
Mono parenting – Today’s Fashion
Latest reports, taken in US, states that, on normal standards, thirty percent of the kids are raises in households of mono parents.
Parents, who are single, are dominantly mothers. The impact of mono parenting is more dawned upon mothers who are singled out. But, mono parents in fatherly figures, are also on a rise.
The male being a mono parent is a widespread scenario in Muslim dominated areas, due to the fact that they are yet to acknowledge the capability of a woman.
According to the 2002 poll taken in US, kids growing under the father’s in charge was around ten plus five percent of parenthood. But this data has increased one tenth, over the decade.
Thus, its is inferred that in the 20th century, male gender shouldering the responsibility of raising a child was not prominent and such a scenario has changed adversely, as the lifestyle of people shifted.
Mono parenthood
Flow through the life, is what our living preaches us. Mono parenting has become a common gesture in our day to day life. Accept the change. Live the way you want.
Mono parenting, a sin, has become passé. The kids raised parents are not seen indifferently now. In fact, present regulations are in favor of such parents and children and the kids are protected from close minded people, by these legislations.
Nowadays, mono parenthood has become a part and parcel of the societal mannerisms. In fact, mono parents are acknowledged and appreciated for their strength of will and aristocratic gesture.
I know we belabor the point here, sometimes…
But, whenever I read people replies from people in the neverending spanking/not spanking debate, it seems like there are some who think the only choices for teaching our children are:
Spanking
Timeouts
Taking away toys/priveleges
1-2-3 Magic
That’s it. Just straight pavlovian stimuli/response to train the children what to do and what not to do, until they’re grown.
Just wanted to get a list of other parenting methods that people use, to let people know that there are other choices that involve actually teaching your child to make good decisions without the contrived stimuli/response reward/punishment system.
So, what are some of the other alternatives (besides, I guess, totally ignoring neglecting your kids or abusing them). What are some parenting methods that you’ve used or seen working in real life, besides the above ones?
Along with using facets of attachment parenting (http://www.attachmentparenting.com/ ), we, for the most part, use the methods described in the book Parenting with Love and Logic (http://www.loveandlogic.com/ ) which helps you guide your children to an understanding of how their choices affect themselves and others, using the natural consequences of their actions to help them really internalize the lesson and be able to apply it to other choices in their lives.
It’s worked pretty well, so far, on our natural kids.
Didn’t work too well on a niece who we fostered through her early teen years, but, as she had Reactive Attachment Disorder, I’m not sure what would have worked on her.
Oh, and we’ll use 1-2-3 magic and timeouts from time to time. Life is hectic sometimes you just need a quick solution.
When trying to create good habits, we’ll go with a sticker chart.
And, like Biz, we’ve found that sometimes ‘natural consequences’ aren’t obvious enough, so we’ll creatively enhance them a bit if needed :D
Ok so I really hate it when people come up to you and try to give you parenting tips and they have no idea what they are talking about. It doesn’t matter if they are family, friends or strangers. So whats the most off the wall thing someone has told you?
BLEACH OMG! that caller needs to be arrested and renered mute so that no one will ever listen to them again!
Speculations on mono parents differ according each individual. A few explain it under the concept based on exposure and feeling. A few others brief it on the concept of logics.
Hypothesis on mono parents might cause agitation as it disturbs the ethics of an individual following Christianity. However, if we get to lend our ears to these speculations, a notion about mono parents will be fed to us, so as so spread it.
Certain speculations like the mono parents beating up their kid if he or she is wronged or frustrated are argumentative. A few support this hypothesis, while a few disagree with it.
People, who disagree with the hypothesis, insist that they ought to be penalized so as to put a full stop to such cruel actions. While, others who support it, argue that penalizing parents will frighten the kid and make him or her orphaned.
Speculations on mono parents differ as per the faith, practice and legacy of a society. Without knowledge, individuals puts forth hypothesis in accordance with their exposure in that subject, and it is eventually followed.
Raising a child needs no hypothetic views. They just require love, care and affection and support from the elders.
Hypotheses may be proved wrong. So it is suggested that such speculations should not let to be influenced in our living. The acceptable and good views can be followed. These hypotheses bring out a moral, which should be considered.
Various speculations on mono parents originated, so as to help them raise the kid in a better way.
Hypotheses on preaching mono parents to enhance the kid’s belief on the almighty, also exists, as it can provide us with a moral support and mental courage against the obstacles of life.
The speculations on mono parents mostly remain as argumentative issues. Mono parents, as matured individuals, ought to know what to follow and what not to follow from the various hypotheses put forth on them.
Hypothesis on mono parenthood exists since centuries ago. But still, it remains a hot subject till date.
Hypothesis on mono parenthood vary according to how they are singled, be it separation or widowhood or adoption or the spouse being imprisoned. As an illustration, a divorcee, should acquire, from the speculations, on how to overcome societal criticisms
These speculations present, help mono parents realize the variation of their role as a parent as compared to normal parents and also the right time to see another companion and have an affair.
Kids for parents, who have got divorced, generally tend to act mutinous, mainly when they enter their adulthood. The hypotheses put forth will help mono parents control the attitude and mannerisms of such children.
Mutinous kids are a personification of the touch me not plant. They are more possessive and seek for individual attention and are very stubborn in acquiring things. It is the duty of the mono parents to look through their emotions and activities and support them.
To err is human. Mono parents might have made errors on major issues. But they should leave aside their past and know their stand. They should learn from their past and be a living example to their kids. It is natural for kids to get inspired by the individuals they live with.
Mono parents must be cautious about how they approach the speculations and hoe they preach morals from it, to their kids. They must understand the kids’ needs and provide with more than enough love, care and affection.
I just thought it would be neat to see other parents’ goals in parenting. I feel we all have very similar veiws [especially love] but would love to know what deeper goals you have
I am a teen mother writing a paper for my college English class about the contriverasial issues of teen pregnancy and parenting. I understand that people have different point of views about the situation. If you could tell me if you agree or disagree and why that would be great.
the director of Chloe’s camp to let him know she only drinks orange-pineapple juice for breakfast…not plain orange juice.”
“We had Jacob’s soccer coach over for dinner to make sure he understood that Jacob doesn’t respond well to direct commands. We want the coach to use “suggestions” when talking to Jacob about soccer techniques.”
“I can’t believe the teacher asked Phoebe to write her paper again with better penmanship. Doesn’t that woman know it’s the content of the writing rather than how it looks? I don’t want Phoebe to think she is a poor writer just because of sloppy handwriting.”
Ahhhh the thought patterns of helicopter parents! These over-bearing, obsessive, hovering parents micro-manage every aspect of their children’s lives. It isn’t enough to make sure their toddler listens to Baby Einstein and excels at Gymboree classes. The Wall Street Journal recently reported cases of helicopter parents accompanying their college-graduate children to job interviews. Some companies offering internships for college seniors now conduct parent orientation programs to stem the numerous phone calls from helicopter parents. While helicopter parents may have the best intentions, in reality, they are raising children with few problem solving skills. Children with hovering parents never get the chance to face disappointment and build up resiliency.
Let’s hear it for …SUBMARINE PARENTS! Think about your typical submarine. (Not an everyday topic of parental discussion.) Submarines usually remain underwater, out of sight. In case of a need for emergency surfacing, submarines can rise so quickly they are propelled partially out of the water. Submarine parents also remain out of sight, yet able to pop up in the case of an emergency. Let’s look at the difference between helicopter and submarine parents: Helicopter Parents: Prepare sack lunches for their child, complete with dinosaur shaped sandwiches and lengthy notes extolling the wonder of their child’s intelligence, good looks and ability to use the remote. Submarine Parents: Lay out a variety of school lunch supplies and encourage their child to pack his own lunch. If Matt packs only chips and carrot sticks, he’ll get hungry and pack a bigger lunch the next day.
Helicopter parents: Sell family heirlooms on E-Bay in order to pay for a $3, 995 Silver Cross Pram. (Canopy only an additional $225.00!) In order to get full use out of this pram, even three and four year olds are pushed through the park while munching on gourmet, flax-seed crackers. Submarine Parents: Buy a sturdy and comfortable stroller at a garage sale for $25.00. As soon as the child starts to walk, the stroller is re-sold at a garage sale and kids get exercise by walking and running.
Helicopter Parents: Participate in all their child’s homework projects. When a fifth grade teacher assigned the task of building a model of the solar system, (without using Styrofoam balls!) helicopter parents complained in mass. How could their future astronomer reconstruct the galaxy of planets without proportionately sized Styrofoam balls? Submarine Parents: Encourage their children to look around the house for items to use. One mother donated a collection of dryer lint so her son could add glue and create mini-lint balls representing planets.
I admit, I’m a submarine parent. My job as a parent is to have fun with my daughters while letting them explore and learn natural consequences. My youngest daughter Sondra didn’t know stores had dressing rooms until she was eight. I bought all her (cute!) clothes at garage sales and consignment shops. After washing each item, she’d find it hanging in her closet or folded in a drawer. There was no discussion about, “Will you wear this if I buy it for you?” My older daughter found herself acting in commercials and making more than minimum wage as a teen. To give her a sense of the real world, I insisted she spend three weeks every summer, picking strawberries and earning $3.50 on a good day. When Sondra was six, she wanted an uber-expensive American Girl Doll. I cut the full color, 18″ picture out of the American Girl catalog and had it laminated. “Here’s your American Girl Doll.” I said “When you turn nine, I’ll buy you the three dimensional doll on your birthday.” Sondra played with her flat doll for months, making clothes and furniture for her. She learned creativity. I saved $88.00.
Even though we need a license to do many things in life — everything from driving and operating a forklift to practicing medicine and fishing — there is no license required to become a parent and this is often the trickiest of all of the above activities!
Parenting today is far more difficult than it was, even a generation ago. Many well-intentioned parents are using outdated and ineffective parenting styles. As a result, they experience daily frustration and stress in their home.
Below you will find my top 7 tips for good parenting. These tips inspire children to want to be well behaved, can reduce family fights and boost family joy.
Good Parenting Tip #1 – If you love your kids—put yourself first!
One of the best things we can do for our children is to give them a foundation for becoming a happy and healthy adult. Self-care should not be a luxury for parents—it needs to become a necessity. You need self-care both for being a good parent and a healthy and balanced human being. Far too many children are living with parents who are stressed out and frankly, not at all fun to be around. If you are repeatedly burning the midnight oil, you may be on the brink of parent burnout—not a pleasant thing for you or your family to experience.
Good Parenting Tip #2 – If married—put your marriage before your kids!
Most of us have heard of Generation X and Generation Y. But did you realize that Generation S—Generation Spoiled—is on the rise? Many children today are raised with an unhealthy sense of entitlement because their parents have made them the center of the universe. With divorce statistics still hovering around 50%, children are far too often coping with unhappy, failing marriages and divorce– much worse for them than missing out on a couple of toys or brand name jeans. Take a stand and put some time into your marriage (like go on a date night)—for your whole family’s sake!
Good Parenting Tip #3 – Cherish your children
No matter what your situation—no matter how often your children drive you crazy—know there are thousands of people in this world who would gladly trade places with you. There are couples who would give anything to just have a child. Strive to remember how truly fortunate you are. Hug your children at least three times a day. Regularly tell them how grateful you are to have the opportunity to be their parent.
Good Parenting Tip #4 – Teach your kids to fish—don’t fish for them!
Many parents do everything for their kids. This only robs their children of the opportunity to learn self-reliance—which is vital to building their self-esteem. One of the best things you can do is to help your kids learn how to do things for themselves. One of the chapters of my first book on effective parenting is called "How To Get Your Kids Doing Their Chores Smiling". Some parents think I am from another planet when I even suggest that kids can learn to do chores with a smile on their face. These same doubting parents are often happily surprised when they see it is possible—in their own home and in this century! Household chores teach basic life skills everyone needs to know. Also, chores give children the opportunity to contribute to the household in a positive and meaningful way.
Good Parenting Tip #5 – Focus on what you like, not on what you don’t
If children aren’t being appreciated and aren’t getting attention for what they do well—and when they behave well—you better believe they will learn to get attention for not behaving well. The more you notice what you like about what they’re doing, the less likely they are to morph into destructive little terrors and the more likely you will inspire your child to repeat the good behaviors and achievements you love.
Good Parenting Tip #6 – Give respect and expect it in return
Don’t do anything to your child that you wouldn’t want your child to do to you. The list of things you don’t want to be doing includes: yelling, hitting, spitting, and put downs. There are far better ways for you to handle conflict, stress and common misbehaviors. Commit to learning these “Ultimate Parenting” tools that are based on mutual respect—not fear based punishment that only teaches our kids to not get caught next time!
Good Parenting Tip #7 – A family that plays together stays together!
Have fun—play with your kids. Laughing, tickling, and enjoying one another’s company is the foundation of a happy home. Having fun can go a long way towards preventing much of the needless conflict and behaviors that drive you crazy. It also provides your family with much needed quality time.
These seven effective parenting tips above are child-proofed, effective and fun. By taking the time to learn how to bring out the best in you and in your children, you will reap the rewards that come from the peace of mind—knowing that you did all you could to support and nurture a happy and healthy family life.
